How to make myself happy and peaceful

Trying to make myself happy and peaceful at all times is very important. So,to make me happy and peaceful while doing my responsibilities, I made myself accept the reality of my situation and stop telling myself the SHOULDs that other people tell me. Honestly, they really do not know the real situation, the things that happened and are happening. So, how can they possibly tell me what I SHOULD do, SHOULD have, SHOULD ask  and most of all SHOULD be.

Taking time to talk to myself is my utmost responsibility.  Talking to myself entails that I should talk to MYSELF. Not imagining someone talking to me. But, finding a way to search within me, letting go of the real me inside and asking me what is it that I want and what I should do. Amazingly, I realized, I don’t really want and need much. I just want to be able to rest, be happy, healthy and peaceful .  The problems and worries I have are not about me.. It’s more about others. What they thought, might feel and what they will say about me. Should I really care?  But others told me I should. What should I say to myself? Let me go... Let me be me... Let me live in this world seeing, feeling and sensing everything in a way I want it to .. Not for anyone else.. Only me

Controlling My Anger

Very recently, I was able to control my anger.. I felt really proud of myself and noble. It took me more than 20 years and had paid a lot before I was able to master myself. How did I do that?

While my frequent object of hate, H, was saying hurtful accusations to me.. I was busy yelling and pulling her hair off..  in my thoughts. Strong imagination helped. It was effective for the first few minutes.. But as she continued, I was on the verge of making my day dreaming come true! I stopped and talked to myself. Telling me, that I will not talk back , she'll never deserve it. She shouldn't know, what I am thinking. I can control myself. It was so hard, yet, I continued talking to myself . After she stopped, I felt her shame of what she did, and I felt so proud of myself. I'm so noble.

That control over my anger, has limitations. H should never say bad or cursing words to me. I will never allow myself be degraded by anybody else... wrongful accusations, which I can only say,  are just aint true.. I believe is worth making myself a better person by being quiet and just let her talk ... 

WELCOME!

Today, I officially created this blogsite to share my thoughts, experiences, feelings and my journey towards improving myself... hopefully other people as well.